Written by Alberta Parish
Some of us have been doing the same things for years...living the same ol' tired-ass existence for decades. We go to these jobs where the rich rob us and exploit our labor. Then, we go to church (or temple or mosque) every week to hear a bunch of feel-good stories and outdated concepts while looking for answers to tangible problems from some supernatural force, and your life still isn't any better than it was twenty years ago. You're still unhappy. You're still struggling. You're still miserable. You're still powerless against those who control the very air you breathe, which is fuckin contaminated with all kinds of chemical agents. In fact, many so-called Christians are suicidal. They don't tell you about these Christians who kill themselves due to depression. You don't often hear about these Christians living double lives because they fear a place called Hell. Or perhaps, they fear not ever getting to see their deceased loved ones even after their own demise.
In April, I decided to stop attending church, stop reading the Bible, stop being in daily worship. I just don't see the point of all the church attendance. What is the point of all this? Am I doing this shit because I don't want to go to Hell or am I doing it to receive some reward in a far off land they call Heaven, if these places even exist at all. Is the fear of Hell the only reason most people even believe in a god who seems to be absent in human affairs? What has this God done for anyone lately? How is hearing a bunch of feel-good rhetoric, how horrible we are for not being obedient to some invisible God and that everything we do is deserving of Hell going to heal any of us of diseases including depression? Almost everybody we know got muthafucking cancer or diabetes or heart disease. And if they're not suffering from a fatal disease, they have debilitating mental or cognitive problems. What's the point of praying to some God who allows children to be sold into human trafficking organizations (also pedophile organizations)? Human beings (young people included) are being kidnapped and murdered for their organs so that rich muthafuckers can continue living to age 90 and beyond. Where is this God who is supposed to be all-knowing, all-powerful and all-loving? Am I supposed to continue believing in some cosmic entity just because I was taught from childhood that this entity exist? No because seeing is believing.
I'm not going to spend any more of my time living in the clouds while continuing to suffer here on the ground with no fuckin allies. How is this fair that entire populations get to fuckin starve to death to feed the United States? Why the fuck are we so silent on the human trafficking taking place in our own back yard? Why the fuck are there Senate hearings on one old predator when there are millions more in Washington and around the world? If I prayed today for a total annihilation of evil men, would this God honor that prayer today? Or would he continue allowing evil to continue in the earth?
Things are not supposed to be this way. There should be no famine or homelessness. There is enough resources on the planet to feed and house the world. Only greedy men have sold us on the idea that the food supply is too stretched to feed the planet and, therefore, there must be population control. Even if it is too many people on the planet, there is still enough resources to go around for everyone. But greedy men want to be able to control and package everything for a fuckin profit. If there is a Hell, many will find themselves there for their lack of empathy toward fellow humans.
Every day, I wake up to the concept that perhaps this is all that life has to offer: a few technological gadgets, social media, the Internet and greedy-ass corporations that exploit working-class citizens...that rob us of our time, energy, money, good health, and the best years of our lives.
Last year, my mama died in a hospice because medical professionals didn't think her life was worth saving. They used the excuse that one of her arteries was blocked. I bet if she was rich, they would've worked around that. My mama didn't deserve to die like that. They didn't give a damn because of her age and economic status. She was poor and the poor are expendable. Although she had Medicaid/Medicare, her life still didn't mean a goddamn thing to them.
Life is fleeting. I don't take life for granted. No one truly knows when his or her time is up. The world (exploitative corporations; jobs) love to keep us so busy, robbing us of time, energy, even labor to the point that we sometimes forget that this existence is so short. We forget to take time out for ourselves, and take care of ourselves first. I wasn't really prepared to say goodbye to my mom. But I was forced to let go because the medical professionals didn't feel that her life was worth saving. She didn't have the kind of money that they wanted. My mama wasted the best years of her life working jobs and dealing with asshole bosses. She spent the better part of her life looking for some God to bless her financially because she was taught that God is a good God who loves his people and will take care of them. But this God couldn't even heal my mama of cancer. Because perhaps he isn't real. If he is real, then he's an asshole for abandoning his creation. All this weekly worship of God around the world and he can't even heal his people from disease and sickness. But people expect me to take Judeo-Christianity and Islam serious. I don't think so.